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By modefor, Oct 24 2019 08:18AM

A quick look at some areas of your wedding you need to be honest with from Pinterest to Budgets and Family...


One of the most valuable things we can be is honest but, being honest with ourselves is tricky and this is especially true when it comes to our own wedding.


Therefore, it’s time to get honest, realistic and believe in your own integrity when it comes to planning your wedding.


Let me break it down a little into three key areas, in no particular order (and btw… there are plenty more things you can get honest about, not just these! Don’t even start me on children at weddings and traditions such as cake cutting and first dances!).


Pinterest

Firstly, whilst I love Pinterest for inspiration and general nosiness, get off it when making your final planning decisions for your wedding. Get your own wedding and stop stealing someone else’s! Be honest with yourself and ask yourself what YOU and YOUR partner really want. Don’t just copy someone else’s wedding or ideas that some professionals put together for a styled shoot. These images are there to be inspiration for you and not for you to carbon copy. So, close your eyes, imagine your big day… what does it look like? Honestly? Now create this vision.


Budget

Yep, the big ‘taboo’ that you need to be really honest about because quite simply, starting married life in debt purely from a party you were paying for where everyone else ate and drank sucks! So, be realistic and honest. Pick your budget truthfully and stick to it. You can have the most amazing wedding on a small budget. These big fancy expensive weddings do not make you any happier in married life than an elopement and quiet dinner with just the two of you.


Small budget does not mean missing out. It’s an opportunity to get wise and savvy financially and produce a wedding which is the truest reflection of you both as a couple with the people you love most around you.


Which brings me on to my third point…


Family

Get really brutally honest here. If you don’t like them, don’t see them and have nothing to do with them, why would you invite them? Especially if it was at the detriment of a friend who has shared so much with you or quite simply just makes you laugh and you want them at your party? Being related does not give people the right to expect an invitation to your wedding.


Now, I’m not suggesting a lack of sensitivity and being mean in not inviting family members but remember this is your wedding and you get to choose who you share it with. You could always do a separate informal family party to invite them all if you have heaps of family but actually want some friends at your wedding.


You must be honest to yourselves and do exactly what you feel comfortable with. Don’t think you are at the mercy of any historic traditions and protocols; you’re not. This is about the two of you and by the way, just because someone contributes to funding your wedding does not give them the right to dictate your guest list.


Be calm, compromise but be honest about your feelings and be empowered to take control of your wedding.


Want a chat about how you can keep calm, keep anxiety at bay and be honest with yourself to have a wedding that truly reflects you? Then drop me an email at info@modefor.co.uk


Much Love

Tabby xxx



Pic by Adam Wilkinson Photography
Pic by Adam Wilkinson Photography

By modefor, Jun 12 2019 08:58AM

We’ve all heard the term ‘Bridezilla.’


I’m so thankful that I’ve always had the best clients and never had any ‘Bridezillas.’


But I want to introduce you to another player in the wedding planning and wedding day scenario.

The ‘Mumzilla.’


One of the greatest causes of stress for couples when planning a wedding is a ‘Mumzilla,’ as this is a creature no-one will or can say ‘No’ too!


But I do say a massive ‘NO’ to the Mumzilla.


When it comes to planning a wedding, there is a role for everyone to play, even if that’s just a supporting role, but the most important thing to remember is this wedding only belongs to two people; the couple getting married.


Unfortunately, whilst sometimes it does come from a place of love and wanting to help, some Mums overstep the mark; running the show, making the decisions, controlling the guest list, deciding on the décor, choosing the canapés and even picking the dress. None of these responsibilities fall on a ‘mum’ unless it has been specifically requested or for a particular reason that the couple can’t do it themselves.


Now, I’ve actually met a few Mumzillas and I am not scared of them and have put them back in their cages, but often I see Mums swooping in and controlling the whole shebang when the couple would love nothing more than a ‘do’ in the back garden with all their mates and beer pong, but what they got was a full stately manor with white doves.


The bottom line is, if you’re a Mum, rein it in. Check in with yourself that you're not being a little OTT. This is NOT your wedding. Be supportive, be exactly what your offspring need you to be, but don’t take over the show and you certainly don’t get to dictate what and how things are done or who comes to celebrate, even if you are footing the bill. Of course, you get to make requests and have ideas and be a part of the process if that’s right, but even if you’re financially responsible, this payment does not give you the authority to hijack the whole day.


Let the couple have their day.


Help your daughter be the calm bride or son be the calm groom. Help, love and support, please do not add to the stress, strain and already present pressure that comes with planning a wedding.


Got a Mumzilla issue? Drop me a message and I’ll help you reduce the stress levels.


Much Love

Tabby xxx


#thecalmbride #theweddingfixer #createmyhappy

By modefor, Jun 27 2018 08:00AM

Photo (c) Capture the Love
Photo (c) Capture the Love

It’s so overwhelming…

I don’t know where to start…

Everyone has an opinion about how our wedding should be…

I just want to elope and leave everyone behind…

I’m not even looking forward to my wedding anymore…

I don’t want my family there…

I’m scared of everyone looking at me and being centre of attention…


Any of these statements ring true with you?


These are real statements I’ve heard from brides and grooms who are trying to plan their own wedding and I find it heart-breaking that anyone should feel that way (though I do like the sound and idea of a romantic elopement!).


Planning a wedding should be something that brings happiness; where you can enjoy the process as much as the end result.


The whole planning process should be filled with fun, happiness, inspiration, creativity and discovery. But I know it’s sometimes so hard to overcome the ‘overwhelm.’


Feeling overwhelmed can happen to any of us; it’s an emotion that can very easily take a grasp of us and invite its friends, anxiety, misery and even sometimes depression to the party. So, remember you’re the host of both parties… the one in your head with all your emotions and your wedding. Did you watch that movie ‘Inside Out?’ You need to choose to override ‘overwhelm.’


My advice is to take it step by step. First of all, make a point to be strong in your stance that the wedding is about you and your partner, no-one else; it should be a privilege for anyone else to be involved, not a done deal that parents, Grandparents, family of friends take control, irrespective of who is footing the bill. This is about you as a couple and you only; end of.


Decide things together as a couple; close your eyes and imagine your day, how it feels, sounds, tastes and looks and keep this visualisation strong when you’re planning. Visualise yourself at your wedding looking and feeling happy and when wedding planning starts to overwhelm take a moment to bring this visualisation to the forefront of your memory. This is a great technique for not only coping with overwhelm but deciding on elements of your special day. Don’t just rely on Pinterest and magazines, use the power of visualisation to bring your own wedding to life.


If you can bring the visualisation along with its friends creativity, excitement and happiness to the party in your head, you are going to start to love the wedding planning process.


I’ll be focussing more on controlling anxiety, nerves and overwhelm over a series of blogs and articles dedicated to the Calm Bride and in my group #theweddingfixer at www.facebook.com/groups/theweddingfixer so why not join me and share your experiences.


Much Love

Tabby xxx


AKA #theweddingfixer



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